We're all happy the weather's finally getting nice...everyone's in a much better mood, the birds are chirping, and the sun is shining!  Alas, even though the snow is gone here in the North, the assholes remain!  Here's a good one to get your weekend started. 

"My neighbor is one of those guys that's an obsessive lawncare guy.  He's got every tool imaginable.  He has every gadget and yard gizmo, and his yard is always pristine.  We live in a pretty nice neighborhood and people do what they can to keep things clean and in good shape, but this nut is just out of control.

First of all, he makes the rest of us look bad.  I'll admit, I don't really like to do yardwork - plus I've got kids and a dog that shits everywhere...so my yard's a bit of a mess.  It wouldn't be so bad if John Deer next door didn't keep his yard looking like a golf course! 

But the thing that really pisses me off is the fact that he's out there super early in the morning...mowing the lawn, trimming the hedges, sawing something...fuckin A, what else is there to saw?!  It's always something, and like on the weekends, it always wakes us up.  The dog goes nuts, and it really sucks trying to enjoy a Saturday morning with my kids.

Anyway, one morning, we were really in bad moods from being up late with sick kids.  What do you know, here comes the yardman...we were not in the mood.

I had my wife go outside and strike up a conversation with him.  He approached her in the frontyard, and left his lawnmower in the back.  I snuck over behind the fence, and with a couple of quick twists, loosened the bolts on all the wheels of his lawnmower.  Man, I  was so excited to watch this go down!

Well, we went inside, warmed up the coffee and waited.  Eagerly looking out the window, we watched John Deer get about halfway through his yard before the fun started.  He rounded a corner,  and BAM!  I couldn't have planned it better!  3 of the four wheels just popped right off and brought the lawnmower to the ground!  It chewed a huge hole in the grass and stalled the mower.

He spent the reat of the day monkeying with it, and we got the peaceful Saturday we were hoping for...mower free!"